Page 62 - South Mississippi Living - September, 2020

“ Proudly take
up space within the world. Stop shrinking yourself. Own your space.
”
the University of Southern Mississippi
arlier this year, I attended the University of Southern Mississippi’s Student Leadership Summit in Hattiesburg. While the day as a whole
was inspiring, there was one session that has stuck with me: Empowering Women Leaders given by the
director of orientation and transition programs, Laura Laughlin. Because the ideas brought up in that discussion
have stuck with me for so long, I got in touch with her to see what she might have to share with our readers.
OEWN story by Victoria Snyder photos courtesy of
“In my experience, women tend to minimize themselves in a number of ways,” says Laughlin. “The most frequent way I see women do this is through their words.” Here are a few examples:
Women try to avoid stating rm opinions and beliefs so that they avoid being seen as “bossy.” On the other hand, men are rarely ever seen as bossy when doing these same things.
Women pretend to be less than we are. We talk about ourselves negatively. We insert “just” and “actually” to make ourselves sound apologetic. We undermine ourselves by asking “Does that make sense?” Instead, use “If you have any questions, let me know.”
Women frequently apologize
unnecessarily. “We often apologize for feeling like
an inconvenience, and not truly because an apology was needed. I personally nd myself apologizing in grocery stores just for walking near someone,” Laughlin describes.
Women tend to try to take up less physical space than men. For example, women may cross their legs or ankles when seated, while men will spread their legs and put their arms over the backs of chairs next to them. “Men
are taught to get bigger, more muscular, while women are taught to become smaller, thinner. This e ort to make oneself physically smaller may be indicative of
someone not feeling worthy to take up that physical space.”
Women are also sent the message that we are in competition with each other because there is only room at “the top” for some of us. “People exhibit these behaviors because of what they’ve learned over time. It is likely easier to conform to the status quo and what
is expected of us rather than to push against it,” Laughlin explains.
So, what is Laughlin’s advice for rejecting what society has taught women? “I have found that sometimes
just pointing out these tendencies helps to change behavior. Educating each other and then holding each other accountable to knowing our worth and sticking up for ourselves can be impactful.”
Remember to advocate for other women and uplift them. Hold each other accountable for what we say about other women, and even ourselves. Don’t be afraid to tell people what you like about them. Proudly take up space within the world. Stop shrinking yourself. Own your space.
Your Space
62 | September 2020
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