Page 114 - South Mississippi Living - February, 2018

ROMANCE & WEDDING opposites attract
MEN ARE FROM MARS,
Women Are from Venus
story by Kelsey Sunderman-Foster
When it comes to dating and relation- ships, the communication styles and emotional needs of men and women can be very, very different. In his bestselling non-fiction of the 1990s, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, author John Grey addressed these differences and created an open discussion on what sets men and women apart in relation- ships.
Today the phrase “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” has become
a popular saying, depicting men and women as being entirely different species. However, according to David Wilson, chief clinician at New Life Har- mony in Gulfport, the differences be- tween the two genders boil down to the way they are raised. “Men and Women are domesticated differently, and as a result they often express themselves and handle conflict differently,” he said.
Because of the way each gender is brought up, key differences in emotional expression tend to arise.
“Society teaches men not to cry and to just suck it up instead,” Wilson said. “That’s a real problem for men these days because they don’t feel they have permission to express themselves.” Contrastingly, women are often raised
Men and Women are domesticated differently, and as a result they often express themselves and handle conflict differently.
to be more expressive and have more clarity regarding their emotions.
One commonality between the two genders is that feelings can be ignored and repressed, which can lead to emo- tional expression in an unhealthy way. “Men can be quick to anger,” Wilson said, “But underneath that anger is usu- ally another emotion: their truth. While a man may appear angry, the anger
could be a defense mechanism covering up feelings of sadness or even guilt.” Women on the other hand might ex-
press anger through tears, which men can often mistake for sadness. One of the key reasons for misinterpreting the emotions of others is that we tend to unconsciously project our own emo- tions onto them. This projection causes us to assume that the emotional expres- sions of others are similar to our own, which many times is not the case.
“In order to work together and com- municate effectively, it’s important for men and women in relationships to become mindful of their own feelings while also getting to know and under- stand the emotional responses of their partner,” said Wilson. “Sometimes the best thing to do is to listen more and talk less.”
New Life Harmony, LLC
228.731.0022 www.newlifeharmony.com
114 SOUTH MISSISSIPPI Living • February 2018
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