Page 30 - South Mississippi Living - December, 2018

PEOPLE grateful
WHAT'S IT LIKE
story and photo courtesy of Debbi McCallam
Being Jewish
Debbi McCallam (center) with her parents, Myrna and Herb Retsky.
It takes me two flights to get from Gulfport to Baltimore. As a Yankee transplant to the Deep South, I make the trip several times a year. This time, it was for Thanksgiving.
On my flight from Gulfport to Atlanta, I sat next to a lovely woman I’ll call Miss Ruby.
We exchanged normal introductory
pleasantries. But before the cabin
doors were even closed, she asked me
a typical Southern question: “What
church do you attend?” Now, when I
lived in Baltimore, I would have thought this unusual. No one ever asks such a personal question. But I’m a Dixie gal
now, so I accept that it’s part of everyday conversation. “Well, ma’am,” I answered (because we always use ‘ma’am’ in the South, I don’t care how old you are). “I’m Jewish.” And as predicted, poor Miss Ruby stopped dead in her tracks.
Southerners from small towns in the Deep
South such as mine just take a minute or two longer to process that information. Then, they say the first thing they can think of to buy some time: “You don’t
look Jewish.” I smiled, because I just never know how to respond to that statement.
I was raised Reform and don’t attend synagogue as much as my mother would like. I eat shellfish and love bacon. I’m pretty much a laid-back
Jew. But that’s how I was raised and that’s how I identify when it comes to religion.
I don’t shout it from the rooftops, but I don’t hide it either. If someone asks, I tell
them.
When I told my Dad I was moving
South, his first reaction was, “Don’t tell anyone you’re Jewish. You don’t want
any trouble.” I thought, “Trouble? What in the world is he talking about? Is
someone going to kidnap me and force me to make them a brisket?”
Of course, without realizing it, he was still thinking about the Deep South in
terms of the militant fanatical, ‘let’s- all-be-the-same’ groups. I don’t fault him for it. He’s
old school and has his stereotypes. Just as my friends and neighbors down here may have had theirs about Jews. It all comes down to the small world in which
30 SOUTH MISSISSIPPI Living • December 2018
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“
I eat shellfish and love bacon. I’m pretty much a laid- back Jew.
“