Page 84 - South Mississippi Living - November, 2021

HEALTHY LIVING
COMMUNICATION CONFLICT:
FIXING INSTEAD OF LISTENING
story by Luke Height
ALRIGHT MEN,
it’s time we all get on the same page about this little like this, “You should take an epsom salt bath and
secret: women are not looking for us to give them a solution to the problems they’re telling us about.
When our mothers, wives or female friends come to us with a problem whether it’s about an emotion they’re feeling, a difficult time at work or any other reason, our first response is to give them a solution to that problem. Something about the male mind immediately thinks, “Here’s what you can do to solve that problem.” However, this approach is incorrect most of the time.
In some cases, our female counterparts are coming to us with a problem they want us to solve. Maybe we’re good at fixing the toilet, the internet, or something specific and they genuinely are asking us for help. Usually they say something like, “Hey, can you help me with this?”
Most of the time, however, we are just offering advice or solutions because we think it’s the right thing to do. A great example is when our wives come to us and say, “I’m having a bad day and my feet really hurt.” We might answer with something
NO!
What they’re actually looking for is not a solution to the problem. It’s more likely they’re looking for us to listen, talk with them about their day, inspire a laugh, show some compassion, and often just give them the time and space to express themselves.
Also, it’s true that us humans don’t always know what our problem is. We know we don’t feel good and we may have something we think is the cause, but it could be something else bothering us. Espe- cially for our female counterparts, we need to give them the space to talk through their feelings, feel loved and supported.
When we take a moment to be compassionate, lis- ten and not jump the gun on offering a solution, we give our female counterparts an opportunity to feel heard and express themselves. This “no solution” approach may be the best solution we can offer.
try to relax.” Seems good right?
84 | November 2021 www.smliving.net | SOUTH MISSISSIPPI Living