Page 115 - South Mississippi Living - January, 2019

She adds, “I think we’ve all been around someone who
is unhappy and experiencing irritability. Unfortunately, our first reaction is often to avoid that person because of how they make us feel, which then causes them to feel alone and isolated. It seems like a cycle that spirals in the wrong direction, resulting in self- sabotage.”
That cycle sometimes can result in the development of depression with feelings of hopelessness and the inability to experience pleasure — the glass as half empty instead
of half full philosophy. “Depression can lead to having low energy and less motivation to do things, causing us to
be slower in responding to tasks which then results in
a decrease in creativity and productivity,” Fields said. “This may cause those around us to be aggravated with us which then causes conflicts and more isolation.”
The lack of motivation or
loss of energy may lead to avoiding trying new things or prevent us from being assertive in addressing our needs.
“This is symbiotic with self- sabotage and can lead to loss of opportunities. It may also lead to being involved in unhealthy relationships or continuing to allow toxic people to impose on our happiness,” Fields said.
Mental clarity is something we may have to diligently work to obtain. Fields offers some suggestions for de-stressing or combating mental clutter.
on de-stressing
• Make a list of priorities with taking care of yourself as a top priority.
• Engage in self-care by doing meditation or regularly reading positive affirmations. You can create positive affirmations
by writing down your skills, gifts, abilities, good fortune, or purchase a book to read to yourself to counter negativity.
• Say no, it’s not a dirty word. If you already have a lot of obligations, it’s okay to say no when called on to volunteer. This does not have to be permanent; it can be for a limited time if you have too many other things going on.
• Limit interaction with people who make you feel bad, or take a break from someone who depends on you too much. All too often, we keep toxic people or relationships going out of obligation.
• Limit exposure to news or other media that makes you feel anxious or agitated.
• If you begin to engage in a negative thought (self-talk), tell yourself to STOP and force yourself to turn it into a positive one. Believe it or not, it does work.
• For those of us who worry a lot, make a list of your worries and
the probability or likelihood of these things happening. Often we will realize that most of our worries are unlikely to happen
• You may have to distract yourself to keep from having a worry spiral into an irrational fear. Read a book, begin a hobby, or start a creative project.
• Make a list of the things you CAN change and the things you CANNOT change. Work on the things you CAN change, one at a time.
• If you find yourself feeling guilty about something, don’t dwell on it. Forgive yourself and make a plan to avoid doing it again. Focus on the positive.
• If possible, decrease the number of changes to experience at the same time. The more things we have to adjust to at a given
time, the more problem solving or organizing we have to do.
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